Making Community Work

In our search for how to make relationship work, we came up with principles drawn from the Buddhas teachings. These teaching were given in relation to making community work and brought to us as indicated in the following text:


ESSENTIALS FOR COMMUNITY

Taught by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche for the Tergar Community
1. Generosity
   - material things
   - protection
   - Dharma (during mental/emotional problems)
   - love/kindness/compassion
2. Communication - skill
   - skill
   - don't use sharp or bad words
   - smile, say pleasant things
   - don't lie
   - address communication to person's good qualities, not the dark side
   - don't press buttons
   - be gentle
3. Behavior - balance of unique/union
   - follow norms, don't go against local custom
   - leave aside that which offends others, it’s not necessary even if it’s “right”
4. Common goal of liberation for all

THICH NHAT HANH: (Old Path White Clouds, p304, ff)
1. Sharing a common space
2. Sharing the essentials of Daily Life
3. Observing the Precepts together
4. Using only words that contribute to harmony; avoiding words that may cause
community to break
5. Sharing insights and understanding
6. Respect for others’ viewpoints; don’t force others to follow yours

THICH NHAT HANH; (Old Path White Cloud)
Four essential Precepts:
1. Don’t engage in inappropriate sexual activity
2. Don’t steal
3. Don’t kill
4. Don’t claim insight you haven’t actually attained

THICH NHAT HANH: (Old Path White Cloud)
Seven steps for Conflict Resolution:
1. Face-to-face discussion in front of community
2. Each takes a turn stating his entire recollection of what happened
3. Both resolve to non-stubbornness (expect to resolve the matter)
4. Both resolve to confess their own wrongdoing (there are many causes and
conditions for conflict)
5. Both agree to accept the verdict of the community
  (The word verdict gets a reaction from Claudia and I; perhaps we should make it direction or guidance??)
6. Community reaches verdict by consensus
7. Each has an elder to represent their part in the conflict, who can be expected to
speak the matter with words that are non-divisive